APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date:

Time of Departure:

Time of Return:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below. Nor shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining verbal permission one hour beforehand. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi or ordering a pizza. I understand that even if permission is granted, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Locations likely to be visited:
Females likely to be encountered:
Strength of beer permitted:

I am the low life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp should I not return home by the time approved below. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. I understand that the wardrobe, cupboard, washing-up basket, fridge and dishwasher are out of bounds with regards to urinating.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

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Request is APPROVED / TURNED DOWN

This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms.

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Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date:

Time of Departure:

Time of Return:

Signed - Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:

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